I’m sure many of you dads (and moms) have seen similar rules posted somewhere before.I like them, I really do, but times have changed and I decided they needed to be updated.Keep in mind that these are tongue-in-cheek and purposefully exaggerated to make a point.

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Come to the door and have a conversation with me because it’s going to take her a little longer to get ready. Rule Two: Do not snap pics of my daughter and post them to every social media network tagged #hottie or I will set your smartphone on fire. Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered cool for boys of your age to constantly text and message all of their friends even when involved in a conversation with people around them. Put the phone down and give my little girl all of your attention. Rule Eight: While you’re waiting for my daughter to get ready I will be looking through your smartphone for any inappropriate content or apps. I’ve been using social media longer than you’ve been alive and I know where and how to dig up all the garbage that you’ve posted online or texted to your friends.

Rule Four: Assume the answer to any text asking my daughter for pics with her clothes off is “NO.” It’s illegal and you’d better hope the cops find you before I do. Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should “friend” or “follow” each other on various social networks. You can text me if your car runs out of gas or you need help changing a flat tire but I don’t care if you slept through class yesterday. If I find such content I will keep the phone, call your parents, and send you home. Rule Ten: Yes, I’m a geek but that doesn’t mean I won’t burn you if you hurt my little girl.

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many “friends” on Facebook and they hang on your every word. You are not in a relationship with my daughter that warrants any kind of public acknowledgement. There are far worse fates you could suffer than being beaten to within an inch of your life.

The Internet never forgets and I know how to use that to my advantage.

Yeah, I know, the children of the man I love don’t want me around, which makes said man feel guilty and stretched in too many directions, in turn causing fear and insecurity for us both.

Tell me one more time that it’s not personal, I dare you. His kids dislike you only as a concept, not as a person—they’re looking for that same safety and stability we all are, and you just happen to be the embodiment of all that threatens that.

While it’s true that his kids wouldn’t like anyone with their father, it isn’t anyone—it’s you.

Do you have any new rules for your kids now that dating has gone digital?

John Wilkerson combines over 20 years of professional experience in the computer industry with 17 years of homeschooling 7 children to give parents easy to understand advice on the application of technology in their homes.

My relationship with a divorced father of three has been one of the most grueling, difficult, maddening, fulfilling, self-revealing things I’ve ever done, and it has taken me a boatload of wrong moves and bad fights to find my way.

If you’re dating a single dad, these 10 guidelines can help you avoid my mistakes.