You might want to say something like, "Texting can be so distracting — I'd really prefer if you e-mailed me or called me to make plans." Or else say, "Look, considering I don't know you very well, I'd prefer to make plans in advance. We recently discussed 8 signs of a toxic relationship, where some often-overlooked abusive tendencies came into light for many people.Tendencies that we brush off in modern society as “normal” or “just the way things are.” In reality – we need to help our peers recognize signs of positive and negative relationships so we can improve the health and happiness of those around us.

Yesterday, I blogged about the advice my male friends have for interpreting a guy's mixed signals. Now, I think it's obvious when someone texts you at midnight, asking what you're up to, that he's just looking for sex.

Today, as a follow-up, I want to talk today about another writer-lady's very smart advice on how to determine whether or not a guy is a player. But players will also send more innocent-seeming texts, saying stuff like, "Hey — spontaneous invite — wanna grab dinner tonight? I'm free tonight but will probably have to work late through the weekend. " While this kind of informality might come off as charming or enthusiastic, I think you should never agree to a last-minute plan unless you've already been on multiple dates with a guy — or unless you feel confident that he is pretty into you. It will make you uncomfortable or it will seem like a deviation from his typical behavior or both.

Susan Walsh writes the blog Hooking Up Smart, which I came across when she mentioned one of my columns in a post of hers. As Susan points out, players will often send a lot of basically meaningless "sweet" texts, along the lines of, "How was your day? Whatever you do, if you agree to a last-minute plan, also agree to go home with him! While we're on the topic of cellular communication, I will add: 3. It's different from the feeling of excitement and enthusiasm two people will feel when there's mutual attraction mutual respect. Players will not respond well if you voice hesitations about having sex.

In it, she made a number of smart points about players — and I'm summarizing the good stuff for you here. " and "Hey, just thought I'd say I'm thinking about you" and "Sleep tight." While this kind of thing is fine once you've established true intimacy with someone, if a dude is pulling this kind of BS before you've had four or five dates , chances are pretty good he's full of shit. Players text a ton one day — and then days and days go by with nothing. They will try to talk you into it instead of being cool with your desire to wait.

If you are being played, it will feel like you are being emotionally toyed with or led on without any intention of building a relationship.

Everyone who does this will have their own reasons, but let’s explore what it might look like from the receiving end._________________________________________ Anyone who wants a long term relationship with someone they love (or, they love) will want to see some sort of progression sooner rather than later.I think this is a power trip thing, or else just basic inconsiderate behavior, or else a ploy to get you feeling insecure and jumpy and greedy for any kind of communication from him. As Susan puts it, "Even if it's charming and he couches it in terms of wanting you really badly, it's still pressure. A man who wants something real with you will respect your decision about timing." Totally. Does any one of these rules, by itself, signal a player? Certainly, I think chances are very high that any guy who is being overly persistent about sex is most likely a douchebag, no matter how incredibly into you he seems — and I speak from unhappy experience. As for the stuff about texting: If he's doing any — or all three of those things — and you're not sure where you stand with him, or something seems not quite right, I'd be on guard.